Sermon Notes from Pastor Jon
3. MARRIAGE IS A 1 FLESH UNION!
*The Bible says that this 1 flesh union means you’re called to love your wife as much as you love yourself.
*Most problems in marriage occur because we selfishly love ourselves more than our spouse
*We want what we want, when we want it, how we want…
*The text tells us that naturally we look out for our own interests.
*We feed ourselves when we’re hungry and clean ourselves when we’re dirty
*We are attentive & responsive to ourselves, but we are called to attentive as well to our spouse
*Verse 31 quotes Genesis 2 & tells husbands/wives to leave & cleave
*This is now a 1 flesh union, and it’s impossible to separate into 2 what has become 1
*The process of pulling the one-flesh apart is painful, and this is why adultery/divorce are so devastating
*GUARD your marriage:
- Be careful about having friends of the opposite sex
- 40% of affairs are with friends & 35% with a co-worker
- Billy Graham Principle: never be alone with a woman who is not your wife
- Be careful with Facebook
- ¼ affairs that women have are with an ex
- Ashley & I have each other’s passwords and permission to look anytime we want. It’s NOT because we don’t trust each other; it’s because we have nothing to hide.
- The best defense again unfaithfulness is a good offense (Proverbs 5 & 1 Cor 7:3)
- 45% of men who cheat do so because they want sex more often
*Marriage = a 1 flesh covenant commitment between 1 man & 1 woman that pictures the Gospel
*That’s why premarital sex, cohabitation, adultery, homosexuality & other variations are WRONG
*Sex before marriage & living together before marriage are now the norm
*The Logic is “How can we know we’re compatibly if we don’t _____?”
*THE LOGIC IS WRONG!
- Cohabitation makes divorce MORE likely NOT LESS
- This is because cohabitation weakens marriage
- Once you live together with the open possibility of leaving the possibility never leaves
*The Logic of biblical marriage is simple: COMMITMENT MUST COME BEFORE TRUE INTIMACY
*Permanence must come before experience
*It’s CRAZY to think that true intimacy can come casually without a lifetime commitment.
*All of these sinful variations on God’s design in marriage are sinful and wrong NOT just because they hurt marriages, may end in STD’s, or can cause relationship issues. They are wrong because they blasphemously picture a false gospel.
*They picture a Christ who abandons His Bride for his own self-pleasure.
CONCLUSION- Most of us when we got married said something like this:
Vows, “I, ______, take you ______, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, to protect, and to cleave unto you and to you only, as long as we both shall live. With this ring I thee wed, all my love, I give to you, all my worldly goods with you I share, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, blessed forever more, Amen.”
Here’s what we said:
- We PROMISED before God, our family, and our church
- We asked for community accountability to hold us to our vows
- We pledged to remain committed regardless of circumstances
- Health, wealth, etc. > good times & bad times
- We pledged to remain committed for life > as long as we both shall live
*That is what we promised, and how can we get there? At the end of our lives how can we look back and see:
- I loved one woman/man for my entire life
- I remained committed to them and was faithful to them
- I loved them through job loss, overspending, debt, etc.
- I loved them before kids, raising kids, and seeing kids go off on their own
- I loved them through disagreements, fights, hard times, etc.
- I loved them through cancer and Alzheimer’s
- I loved him/her!
*Only the Gospel of Jesus drowning in His own blood to rescue His bride can get you there
- Believe the Gospel
- The Gospel gives you grace when you fail as a spouse
The Gospel drives you to love unconditionally